MOVING!

Hey, guys! Just wanted to let you all know I'll be transferring my blog to http://redrubycherries.wordpress.com. Hopefully that works out, and if not, I'll let you all know when I come back! Come join me at Wordpress!!

MY LIFE IN 6-WORD PHRASES

Here I lay here I’ll stay

Travel makes my mind go soaring

Ignorant brains are for ignorant people

I found my toes digging sand

My fingernails will always be colored

Rings are the size of hearts

Habits can always be mildly broken

Phones, computers not part of life

Wishes at specific times come true

Dancing makes my heart beat faster

I found my song when born

Bubble wrap pops to a beat

Chim chimney plays in my head

I will always water the plants

Dishes only started as a chore

Falling off trees takes its toll

I only lied once about yoyos

The sun is so much brighter

Winter is fun for two weeks

I saw dolphins then saw love

My heart broke now it’s mended

I like when he tests me

Give me a sentence I’ll analyze

I could sit and watch movies

My life is set in adventure

Sometimes Hollywood plays in my backyard

Fanatic of arts fanatic of science

I shrank when I saw you

Laying down on floors feels nice

Maybe Indian style for my life

Shading my eyes and locking pinkies

Makes me laugh until I cry

Four-leaf clovers are special and rare

Blow on fire watch it grow

Some days I cry, feels good

Laughing is medicine even when happy

Amazing when minds go completely blank

Tip-toe to make sure you’re okay

Didn’t remember owning her sentimental nightstand

Sleep all day in the pool

Mountain scents, one of a kind

I’ll be the one to carry

Ironically, he makes me feel bigger

XoXo,

rubycherrie.

I NEED YOU TO JUST...RELAX.

Do you ever have moments when everything seems so intense, and there is so much of the intensity? It's as though someone is shining 100 flashlights on you, and you just can't take the brightness anymore. And sometimes, you don't know where to go to get away from it all. Do you listen to music, do you read, do you run around, watch tv, or even just try to sleep it off? There are so many different ways to vent. Sometimes even just screaming in a pillow helps. But sometimes... it's a lot easier to just sit down and sort through each piece one by one. Take a breather, calm down, and figure it all out. Because no matter what you do or where you go, everything will end up following you. At some point, you WILL have to deal with turning each of those flashlights off. And as long as you can calmly face each one individually, you shouldn't have a problem.

XoXo,

rubycherrie

REDIRECTED

It seems to me that every day twists and turns into a new road.  One day, I'm lead to a decision that will change the whole scenery.  And other days, I'm lead to believe that the unfamiliar territory has been with me all along.  Maybe that's just the crazy path I have happened upon.  Sometimes it seems as though I'm walking along this path just to take a stroll.  Just to see what might be outside.  But sometimes I find myself racing against nothing, passing every single rose without bending over to catch its scent, the trees on the sidelines just a blur of nature.  I don't really understand what controls this road.  Most people say that we choose our own path.  Other times, though, it feels like the path has chosen me.  Like I've ended up somewhere without knowing where the road even started.  Yet somehow, I have found myself to be okay with that fact.  I realize now that whoever or whatever controls the random path of my life, I can be comfortable.  I know that in the end, I get the final say.  No matter where I end up, I get to decide if I like it or not.  And I am the one to change that.

"today, skies are painted colors of a cowboy cliche"

XoXo,

rubycherrie

LOOK FOR THE GOOD

I'm going to admit it:  I wasn't looking forward to starting the school year back up.  As amazing as my freshman year had been, it was also equally as bothersome due to many ridiculous reasons.  Summer came and it felt like a fresh start.  I could relax.  I could be myself without worrying who that was and if people would judge.  I felt good again.

So when it came time to start getting ready to move back, I began to worry.  Was this really what I wanted?  Did I want to spend my year at a place that caused so much drama and negativity in my life just months before?

But before I could even make those kinds of decisions, I was back.  And now, having lived in my new apartment with my old friends, I can safely say that I am happy.  Maybe even ecstatic.  I did not expect the year to start off on such an incredible note.  

Sometimes we leap to conclusions before looking at all of the possibilities.  I realize now that I was basing my future off of my past, and that can be one of the most dangerous ways of going about life.  I'm not saying that using caution and second guessing yourself is wrong.  But sometimes, it's important to really try to see things for what they really are.  And this doesn't just apply to moving back to school.

Maybe last year, had people really taken a look at what was going on around them, friends wouldn't have been lost.  Things wouldn't have been said and people wouldn't have been hurt.  But that is the past.  We can't look at the past and expect the same for the future just because things are related.  Just because we are with the same people or in the same place.  Things change.  We need to accept them for what they are and look for all of the good that can come out of them.  Always try to stay positive and hope for the best.  Negative thoughts will not help in any situation.

Be who you are.  Do what you do.  And live for the present.

XoXo,

rubycherrie

TWISTING TIME

I know I haven't posted recently. Don't hate.

This next section is really meant for a couple of friends, but I believe that everybody should read it and understand it and take it for what it's worth.

Sometimes relationships just end.  There is no rhyme or reason to it.  Sometimes the girl truly does want to find herself, and sometimes that takes more one-on-one time ... alone.  We can't always get what we want or change people's minds when we don't.  We aren't always what they need.  No matter how in-love and connected two people are, they are separate.  Different minds, different hearts.  And sometimes, they change.  And that is okay.  The cycle of life has an odd way of twisting and turning to eventually fix itself.  Even though it may not seem like it at the moment, you will be okay.  As difficult as it may be right now, you may just have to lay trust in the old saying:  Time heals all wounds.

just remember

love possesses nothing

nor would it ever be possessed

and think not you can direct the course of 

love itself directs the course allowed

A BRAIN-DEAD BLOG

Sometimes I just don't know what to write.  I really do have all of these ideas bubbling in my mind, ready to explode onto paper and into my blog.  I want to share them with you.  But sometimes...I just don't know how to say it all.  Usually what happens is that I go brain-dead for awhile, and then I will randomly begin to write something.  Then I won't be able to stop.  Who knows...it could happen to me any second.

I'm really excited to have a blog, though.  I've gotten really good feedback.  I'm so happy to share all of my thoughts with everybody in my own time.  It's a good feeling.  You should try it.

Anyways, I'll try to think of something to post.  Wish me luck.  (Don't be surprised if you end up seeing ten posts after this on the same day...or zero.  It's just how my mind works.)

XoXo,

rubycherrie

CHANGE

I have always believed in the idea of "Paying it Forward". Some one helps you, you help someone else, that someone else continues the chain...

When I was in high school, my close friend and I tried to come up with random ways we could help others anonymously. Later on, I attended a program called Governor's Honors Program. One of the smaller classes I participated in tried to adopt and spread the Pay it Forward idea.

I have never been as inspired as I was, though, when listening to my brother tell the following story (in the story, my brother will be named Craig and his friend will be named Tim):

One cool night, after leaving a meeting down in the city, Craig and Tim were walking to their cars as they were getting ready to go out for the night. As they were doing so, they came across a man asking for change at a payphone. The man introduced himself as Lowe. Craig and Tim are both very sociable people, so they naturally started up a conversation with the man. Lowe seemed very distraught, so Tim cautiously asked if everything was okay. Tim thought that maybe what Lowe really needed was a little more of metaphorical change. Lowe eased into his problems one by one, and soon they were all spilling in front of Craig and Tim, a flood that one person couldn't clean up alone.

Lowe had recently been out of state. He was looking to buy a new house for him and his wife. After searching for awhile, he knew he had found the perfect home. He settled the deal, and immediately came back with a single rose in hand to surprise his wife with the news. Upon his arrival, though, he found his wife cheating on him through the front window. He had been kicked out, and his life was turned upside-down.

Craig and Tim were overwhelmed, and they knew this man needed help. They also knew there were skeptical people out in the world. Was this man really telling the truth? They decided that even if he hadn't been trustworthy, which they had already deemed him, then he still obviously needed a lift back on his feet.

The two boys ended up giving Lowe money for the next few days, and they drove him to find a hotel which he could stay in until he found a new place.

Inspiring.

I wish I could say that everybody were this kind-hearted. That is not the case, though. Had it been a different day, or even a difference of five minutes, it might not have been Craig and Tim who greeted Lowe with such encouragement. It could have been someone who was dangerous, or even someone who just didn't want to spend the time or money helping someone who needed it more.

I hope that everybody who reads this takes something from it. Every single person has the power to make some sort of a difference in the lives of others, whether the difference is large or even small. Anything counts.

And we can all help with a little change.

XoXo,

rubycherrie

SIMPLE NATURE

A poem I wrote December 2008:

the sun hits me,

exposing me of the

nothingness i am.

my bare limbs

are sticky in the light.

glistening diamonds fall

into my palms;

hands so undeserving 

of such a beauty.

i am nothing.

but still i feel the

strike of brightness

as a thousand blades

persecuting me;

showing to all

the simple nature

of my being.

icicles form at my fingertips,

slowly binding me

as a statue for all to see.

i breathe in the sweet scent

of pine and bark

for the last time.

i know it's over.

the light is dimming

into elegant shadows.

darkness takes over,

swallowing beams whole.

and still, i am nothing.

XoXo,

rubycherrie

CLICK

A poem I wrote:

rewind, back up, stop, control, go

never again with this all-time low

let's re-evaluate it

make it what we make it

we can go where we want

at the end of the road

why am i the only one who sees

how this mix-up had affected me

i'm on the ground, beggin' please

but i wanna freeze

take it back again

way before the end

rewind, back up, stop, control, go

never again with this horrible show

so we can keep on livin'

good life we've been given

and never have to worry which way to go

you gotta know

that you decide on your own road

you think it's impossible

but i know it's very plausible

so rewind, back up, stop, control go

XoXo,

rubycherrie

HELLO SWEET BLISS

Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Nobody can hurt me without my permission."

It's an interesting thought.  People would try as they might to get through this man.  They would spiritually beat him to the bone.  They knew the troubles he faced, and still they would fight.  Gandhi would live for days in physical hunger in order to stop fighting, but he was only pained with what he valued as significant wrongdoings to society.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.

Perception.  It is all about this one word.  The world could be coming to an end, and as long as one views it as a beautiful moment, a new beginning, a fantastic event, it cannot hurt.

The world could be coming to an end...

It's November 2012.  The Mayans, who were completely accurate with the lunar calendar (they even an extra day in the year ..leap year, anybody?..) and are only 35 seconds off from current time, believe that the world would come to an end in approximately one month.  They had no proof, no details.  Their calendar stops.  Are we supposed to believe the world will end?  Did they plan for their calendar to stop?  Hollywood sure does want us to believe this phenomenon.  It's 2009 and there is now a movie entitled "2012" (yes, very original) coming soon to theaters near you.

But even if we do believe this...why worry?  Why panic?  Where would that lead us?  Our last years on earth would be spent in chaos, with paranoid people turning their heads in every direction, simply waiting to vanish.  Why not look at this mysterious end through Gandhi's words?  Nobody can hurt me without my permission.  Sure the world may end!  But why not take it to mean we can have a hell of a good time these last few years?  It's a fantastic idea, thinking that our world as we know it, with the science we've discovered and the religion we've covered, could come to a halt.  Goodbye world, and hello sweet bliss.  Nobody can hurt us without our permission.  

Starting today, why not live your life through that idea?  What do you have to lose?

XoXo,

rubycherrie

SIMPLY SLEEP

I'm sitting in bed, white tee and all, soaking up the fact that as of a couple of hours ago, it's July 31st.  When did that happen?  I thought summer just began.  But now I hear its engine revving, ready to speed away into another semester of school and Athens.  I'm ready, but I'm not.  Isn't that the way it always is?  Doesn't everybody just sit and wait for the next stage of their lives to not happen?  Silly, if you think about it.  Almost ironic ... almost.

Anyways, it's 1:25am, and I'm supposed to be up for an eye appointment at 7:30 ... and sleep does not feel soon.  Why does that always happen?  When we need the sleep, it slips away into the night.  Insomnia could explain the world.

But that's not what insomnia's for.

I wonder if people with insomnia feel lucky.  They get to stay awake alone.  I wonder how many insomniacs actually take advantage of that.  I bet I would be a lot more productive if that were the case.  I would be writing all of the time, non-stop.  Except I wouldn't really be able to fully write songs, what with the noise level and all.  I'm rambling.

I just heard the garage open, which means my brother's home.  I'm rarely awake when that happens.

So, I'm thinking ... if sleep won't come to me, I may just have to force myself to sleep.  Wish me luck?

Sleep is a time;

it's a place and space

for dreams

Dream big

and magic happens

And during this time

our innermost thoughts emerge

from the twilight they hide in

Thoughts we didn't even

consider when awake

are now bubbling

to unknown surfaces

During sleep we explore

deep depths of fantastical

ideas

And sometimes,

when we wake up

and can't remember

what happened

during those odd, odd hours,

we realize that we

were just 

simply sleeping.

Goodnight!

No, nevermind.  Another poem, perhaps?

We arrive

and sunlight is still shining,

baking our shoulders and

slowly coloring our hair and

our bodies.

We wait for sounds

unlike those that surround us now.

We shift in our seats 

every so often,

blaming and cursing companies for 

choosing uncomfortable plastics.

Where is the band?

Where is the music?

Where are those sounds?

We wait.

And every so often

the people on stage

get yelled at.

Where is the band?

And finally,

we forget about the troubles.

The first act has arrived.

We trade seats.

Can you see okay?

Yes, can you? Yes.

We wait.

Plug in, check 1, 2, 3.

Testing, testing.

Hey, everybody!

Finally.

And the music moves

through air molecules

and strikes the people

in the pit so much

that their whole bodies 

dance.

And it hits us hard.

We're up, out of plastic

seats and our feet

are shifting and

our bodies swaying

to beats and heads

bobbing and then,

smiles emerge.

The light is fading,

but the music just won't

leave. We dance.

We can still feel it now.

The pulses.  The rhythm.

And we'll wait for it

to come again.

We'll wait.

Okay, now I know I need sleep.

Goodnight again (and for real this time)!

XoXo,

rubycherrie

trying out the new posting from my phone

NO EASY WAY

There really is no easy way to start talking about someone who died.  You can mention how great or lousy of a person they were, or just state the facts.  Either way, it doesn’t seem right.  All of a sudden, you’re talking in past tense.  He was her brother, he was a good guy.  There’s something missing in the sense of it all, and you don’t know where to place your finger.  You don’t know how to fix it.

I knew Josh when I was younger.  He was a few years older than me, and he would come to the pool every so often.  I didn’t really know him in the sense of even remotely close to friends, but we were associated.  It’s weird to find out that someone who you had passed or talked to maybe a few times is now gone.  But I think what’s really got me is the idea that he’s a part of my childhood memories, associated with happy times splashing around at a neighborhood pool.  I have one distinct memory of him standing by the side of the pool.  I always thought he had been really cute.  And now, he’s gone.  A horrible car accident after visiting his sister for her birthday.  He was thrown out of the windshield.

 It’s when things like this happen that people begin to question fate, and question if this person was supposed to have affected them somehow.  At this point, I’m still wondering how much I ever knew the kid.  Did he change something in me?  I barely knew him, so how could he have?  Questions pop up every which way and your head becomes fogged.  It all seems unfair and none of it makes any sense.  But it happened, and you feel as though you’re supposed to accept it.  It’s the only thing left to do, right?  But then, where does that leave us?  How am I supposed to be feeling?

Should I be glad that I never knew him better?  That seems selfish.  But you still think it, don’t you?  There are too many questions and too few answers.  So that leaves us to soak it all in.  Just breathe on it for a few days.  Life goes on, right? 

That’s the weirdest part of it all.  Something as terrible as death happens, and you become stuck in this vague world of confusion.  And while you’re left to mope around and wrack your brain for some solution to it all, the life around you continues.  It seems so cliché, but it is so true.  You’re sitting there thinking about something so huge as death, and everyone around you is talking about gossip and what happened on facebook today.  Life goes on.  It has to.  

LEARN...THIS IS NOT OKAY.

Step one.  Realize what's wrong.

Step two.  Fix it.

Step three.  If that doesn't work, fix it again.

Step four.  Never give up.

Finally, Step five.  Please move on.

I hope you learn from your mistakes.  I hope you don't treat people that way for the rest of your life.  I'm done with you.  I'm done putting faith in you.  Believing in you.  It's all in my past.  Maybe you'll have a great life.  I hope you do.  But just know that it will be without me.  I AM DONE WITH YOU.  Saying those words make me feel free.  I am no longer in the bondage of love.  In fact, I hate you for what you did and how you treated me.

Sometimes, when I look at the journal I got you for your birthday present, I get sad.  I read the inscription I wrote about how I will always put faith in you, and it brings me back to the happiest moments of our love story.  But it took just one more straw.  Just one more.  And now, I am done.

SHED THAT WINTER COAT

I am longing for a warm summer night right now.  I want to be able to wear a summer dress with flip-flops and no jacket or no scarf or no gloves.  I just want the wind to feel warm outside.  It would be wonderful.

ROSE

This is just a picture I took and edited of a little rose in my home.

MUSIC

My music taste is so general.  I like pretty much ANYTHING, minus screamo music. The only two bands that I like with screaming are Foo Fighters and Swell Season.  

Recently, I've been watching movies and then I'll go check out the soundtrack to download.  Today I downloaded a lot of the music from 10 Things I Hate About You.  90s poprock - stuff like Letters to Cleo and Semisonic.  But I also listen to the Beatles, and then John Mayer, and Bob Dylan, and then The Notorious BIG, and a lot of really random shiz. I really just love music.  Maybe I'll start doing music suggestions of the day or of the week. Hmm..

TITANIC 2??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD4OnHCRd_4

This is a really funny Titanic 2 trailer.  It's fake, of course.  But it has tons of actors from random movie clips and it's really great.  So check it out!

HOLDING ON TO SOMETHING REAL

It's a weird feeling being away from the people you trust most, and the people that you put all of your faith into.  All of my closest friends are spread across the world now, let-alone the continental U.S.  Of course I have friends where I am, some who have seen me grow up through my awkward phases.  But sometimes, I wish that I could tell one of my deep secrets to someone who truly cared and listened, someone who not only watched me through those awkward phases, but went through them with me.  Someone who has been there for me for as long as I can remember.  And that is why I love coming home.  I finally get to visit with people that know so much about me and value me for who I am.  I get to have conversations that truly mean something to me, that are just continuations of conversations from earlier in the year.  Real friendships that aren't superficial.  Of course, a lot of this is coming from home-sickness.  But don't get me wrong.  The people I see every day now mean a lot to me.  They've helped me through a weird time in my life, and they showed me how to enjoy myself again.  And I owe them a lot for that.  I just hope they understand that sometimes it's nice to go back to familiar faces and comforting conversations.  Even when that means bringing yourself back to people you never thought you could trust again.  And that's what I think is beautiful:  Some of my deepest friendships are rooted through some of my best and worst memories.  And that let's me know how far I've come with some of my friends.  And all I really have to say about that is I'm glad for it.  Not for the bad memories, of course, but for the fact that my friends survived the bad memories, and stuck with me.  That must mean something, right?